Today I got two of my three wisdom teeth pulled. The only thing I was really looking forward to was getting the "laughing gas" that the dentist so generously offers during the most lovely of appointments. Honestly, I hadn't been offered the "good stuff" since I was about... 11. As I went into my appointment, my only prerogative was to accept the assistance of the laughing gas if it was offered.
To my delight, it was!
Now, I hadn't remembered the effects it has on me. I only remember thinking it was really fun. Needless to say, I don't remember it making me feel as crazy as I felt today. So I have decided to share with all of you the things that I thought about while under the influence:
"Is it ok if I take really deep breaths? I really want to feel it"
"Ok, I feel it."
"What is happening to me?"
"Is he scraping my gums?"
"He must be. He told the assistant he needed a rinse. I bet it's my blood."
"I can't feel my feet."
"or my hands."
"Oh gosh, don't laugh."
"I'm serious, don't even smile."
"How is it possible that I feel like smiling while someone is doing this to me? This stuff is amazing!"
"I wonder if it's legal to get on my own."
"If this is what drugs are like, I can see why people do drugs."
"The roof of my mouth feels like it's caving in on my esophagus"
((inhale through mouth'))
"Wait yes I can"
"ok ok ok he's saying something. Focus."
"Ok Leslie, your only job is to focus on what he is saying, it's the only way you won't look like an idiot and he won't know how high you are feeling."
"Dentist's must feel awkward after seeing people in a situation like this. High and numb and mouth gaping and bleeding as he digs away at my jaw..."
"WHAT IS THAT TEARING SOUND?!?"
"Must be the root of my tooth ripping out. People weren't joking about that."
"Is he seriously standing up to get leverage to pull my tooth out?"
"Close your eyes, self, you don't want to watch this."
"ah..ah..ah....AH that must have been it"
"Here we go with the other tooth..."
"This is really awkward"
(Repeat inner dialogue for tooth #2)
Oh and is it really weird that I kept my teeth? When I asked if I wanted to see them I said yes. (Duh!) However, I didn't expect him to wrap them in gauze, put them in a tiny blue box, and give them to me to take home. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do with two ugly wisdom teeth, but I think I might have to give the tooth fairy one last chance to prove her existence, and then close that chapter of my life until we have some kiddo's of our own. Oh and your welcome for not posting a picture of them. They're kind of gross.
All things considered, it went pretty well! Now I get to eat ice cream and and watch movies and taste blood all night! Huzzah!