Last week I went to Josh's soccer game, and there was this 13 month old little girl there. She was hanging with her (adoring) grandparents while her mom played on Josh's co-ed team. She was the cutest thing I have ever seen, and I found myself staring at her. Watching her. Studying her. The way she walked (I have a pretty good impression of baby walking now, if you'd like to see it) and the way her grandparents absolutely loved her through and through.
I found myself sitting there... wanting her. Wanting a baby. Yes, I said that. I wanted a baby. I wanted to have a little one to love that much. I couldn't stop thinking about what a great dad Josh is going to be and picturing my parents and Josh's parents pouring love out all over their grandchild... my child.
Now before you go jumping to conclusions, God did not prompt me to have a baby. What he did "say" to my heart was something like this:
"Leslie... there are so many babies in your world right now who won't even know a tenth of the love this one child has in her life. Go and love them."
and I want to. I almost have to. I don't need to bring one of my own into the world right now. I'm not ready for that. Really, I'm not. But there are so many babies who are just sitting in "cribs" (if you can call them that) that aren't even going to get touched today. Babies with AIDS who won't live past 5 so no one wants them. Babies who are handicapped. Babies who were abandoned. Children who won't know any kind of fatherly or motherly love... and may not ever know true Fatherly affection... if I don't go love them first.
I'm stirred. Even as I write this. This has to happen. It just has to.
Right now there are approximately 132 million orphans in the world.
and right now there is probably a teenage girl who isn't even pregnant yet, who is going to have a baby, and I'm going to spend part of my life loving that unborn, unconceived child with everything that I have....
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" James 1:27