Thursday, February 26, 2009

A Set-Apart Life

I just started reading a book by Leslie Ludy called "Set-Apart Femininity".   I just finished the first chapter and my heart feels so encouraged and challenged.  I don't know that I am truly "set-apart" for the Lord, but I want to be.  I want to live a life that is so completely sold out to Him, that nothing could distract my entire devotion to my Lord.

In the first chapter, the story of Gladys Aylward is shared.  She gave up her entire life to serve the persecuted Christians in China.  At the end of her life she said, "My heart is full of praise that one so insignificant, so uneducated, and ordinary in every way could be used to His glory for the blessing of His people in poor persecuted China."  


um. wow.  I want that to be my heart.  "My heart is full of praise that one so insignificant, so uneducated, and so ordinary in every way could be used to His glory for the blessing of His people in poor Lowell.  Or poor Santiago.  Or poor Azerbaijan.  Or poor France.....

I want to live truly set-apart for Him.  Really, I do.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Heart Longings...

I want to be the kind of person who doesn't want credit for anything.   I want to do things in this life with the "audience of One" in mind, and no one else.  I want to be the kind of person who loves quietly.  Who does not love others in a loud, obvious, boisterous way.  But loves in a calm, undercover, rich, meaningful, pure way.  I want to be the kind of person that goes on a mission trip but leads everyone to believe it's just a vacation.  and then I want to go on that "vacation", and serve my brains out- serve to exhaustion!  and come back and go right back to the daily grind and not let anyone know what transpired.  To have that sort of purity of heart in my love.  In my actions.  In my serving.

I want to be this person because I am not, right now.  I find myself a little too drawn to the applause of others.  and I want to rid myself of that sort of pride.  That sort of sin.

I want to be the kind of person who always points to the goodness of others.  I believe it was Benjamin Franklin who said, "Speak ill of no man, but speak all the good you know of everyone".  I want to live that way.  I want to speak that way.  I don't want to point to the goodness of... me.  ((because the only goodness in me is Christ.  Everything in me that is not good are just the parts that I have not surrendered to Him))

and I want to be the kind of person that receives praise well.  And accepts compliments gracefully.  Not the fake humility that rejects a compliment and bounces it right back onto the person giving the praise.  

and

I.
want.
more.
out.
of.
life.
than.
the.
norm.

Because the norm



sucks.




and I don't want to suck life, or suck at life.  I want to give life.  and live life.  to the fullest.  Everyone says that, "oh I want to live life to the fullest" but I don't see it, very much.  Surely there must be more fullness to be had than the "fullest" that most people experience.

Monday, February 2, 2009

A Poem for Josh

I wrote this poem a few months ago for Josh.  and I like it.  So I want to share it :-)

"Still My Dream"

Last night I had a dream
About a hero, strong and true
His name could have been Prince Charming
And he reminded me of you

Handsome from the outside in
It was obvious to see
That this dashing man was quite a catch
Yet his eyes were set on me.

Honor was sewn in the fabric
Of his life and all he did
Humility cloaked his heart and hand
So his goodness was often hid

Self discipline was evident throughout
Strength burst from his spirit and soul
A gentleman to the core, no doubt
With a heart that was wild and whole.

He loved, and loved, and loved, and loved.
He lived, he lived, he lived.
Passion pushing each foot forward
When he had nothing left to give. 

He knew me and he loved me
He saw me and won my heart
He asked me to be his Princess
And wished for us to never be apart.

I knew I could never leave this hero
A true man among many men
How could I ever go on and find
One I could love this much again?

By then my heart was pounding
and I awoke quickly, it would seem
But as I came to, I knew that man was you
I'm awake and you're still my dream