Anyone who reads this probably already knows this, but for my own sake I will say: I have another job! I'm a barista at Voyages coffee shop here in Lowell. and I love it! I love meeting new people and connecting with people that I already know and making people feel important and smiling at people. I really like smiling at people. Not that waning-crescent-moon shape smile but a toothy smile or a smile from the eyes. I like that, a lot. Because I really don't think people in our culture smile enough.
or laugh enough. Come to think of it, I don't think that I laugh enough. I have kind of a picky sense of humor (I think) and I have recently realized that I say "That's funny" way more than I actually laugh.
((but sometimes I laugh so hard that I throw my head back and it comes deep from the belly and those are my favorite))
Also, Joshua is going to the Dominican Republic for a week on January 17. and I would love to go with him. But we're not sure if it's going to be possible or not. But I think it's important that I'm there with him... unless God shows us otherwise. So please pray for that, if you could...
and I'm having a really, really difficult time getting into the "Christmas spirit" or whatever it's called. I don't have an itch to get our Christmas tree (even though we are going to go get one tonight) I'm not really enjoying Christmas carols, I have no motivation to go buy things for people (because what does it really matter anyway) and what the heck is Christmas even about? I know it's celebrating Jesus' birth... but what should that really look like? I feel like it's more about not having to work and actually seeing my extended family one out of the two times I normally see them per year. and I don't feel excited about Christmas. I just don't see the point. Isn't that Scrooge-like? I don't know.
I just want to get to the real meaning of it all. I want to live everything out the way it is supposed to be lived but I feel like that's way different than anyone else (but maybe it isn't) but it must be because... well I don't know why. This just can't be it when it comes to Christmas.
and I want to live out friendship the way it's supposed to be lived. and love. ((especially love)) and God ((ESPECIALLY God)). I want to experience God the way he is supposed to be experienced. and... I'm... just...
thinking about it all.